ARDBZ interview
by MistyxKisame
Summary: WARNING:ARDBZ based Alternate Reality Dragonball Z .Also the pwning of EVERYBODY!
1. Chapter 1

I've decided to an ARDBZ interview. **ALTERNATE REALITY DRAGONBALL Z** **_NOT_** **DRAGONBALL Z**! OK? You people don't know how many times I warn people about stuff and they don't listen. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ARDBZ GO TO . Ok? I know Gohan is awesome and blah blah blah Cell isn't gay blah blah, Celine Don is lame (I will get you if you say she is), blah blah blah Goku isn't bi-sexual…SHUT UP! IT'S ARDBZ! SHUT UP! If don't like, don't review! Anyways all credits go to Gozar or whatever his name is. Anyways, some of this is based from ARDBZ, my imagination, and the original DBZ. No GT stuff here, but it may be mentioned. Send in your questions please! Oh, and please review ok? I will put all of your questions in. The interview will feature all of your favorite ARDBZ and DBZ characters.

Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to put this in all my stories. I don't own ARDBZ or Dragonball. Akira and Gozar own it though. Once again, if you've never seen ARDBZ, go to .com or youtube it and type in ARDBZ.

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"Hi everybody and welcome to the first ever ARDBZ interview. I'm your host Misty and this is my assistant Hannah because she paid me to let her on here." Misty said taking her place at the huge table.

"Surely did!" said Hannah, like the blonde ditz she is.

"Anyway…are our favorite ARDBZ characters ready?"

"Wait…where's Celine?" asked Piccolo who was sporting his usual outfit but with a Celine Dion t-shirt on.

"Who?" Hannah questioned innocently…YEAH RIGHT!

"Celine."

"Who?"

"Celine Dion." Piccolo growled obviously annoyed his favorite singer wasn't gonna saw up any time soon. "This invite says Celine Dion was gonna be here in person."

"And it also said there was gonna be food." added Goku.

"And it also said that mystic loser wasn't gonna be here… BUT HERE HE IS!" Vegeta gestured to Gohan who was playing with Icaruas.

"Yeah! Who invited that mystic piece of crap?"

"Goku!" Chichi hit her husband on the back of the head with her frying pan.

"What? He is!" Goku rubbed the back of his now sore head.

"He's your son! And these nice people deserve not to give you any food!"

"Sorry about the inconvenience. This dummy" Misty gestured to Hannah "sent them out, but if you want, I'll order some pizza and ice cream.

"YES! But no sprinkles."

"Wait…I thought you liked sprinkles?" mentioned Hannah confused.

"No, that's Vegeta." pointed out Misty

"But Goku eats everything that's food"

"This is ARDBZ, not DBZ, dummy." Misty rolled her eyes. "Anyway, let's go to question #1.

Fan question #1

Dear Krillin

Take off your shirt and bitch slap Vegeta.

"HANNAH! WHAT THE HELL!" Misty tossed the paper at Hannah's head, regretting inviting her

"Heheheh…I have no idea what you're talking about…" Hannah tried to put on a puppy dog look.

"Dorky I swear if you slap me, I'll slap the shine off your dome! And if you know what's good for you, don't take off your shirt or I'll kick you in the balls." Vegeta warned Krillin.

"Next question." Misty said in a deadpan voice.

Fan question #2

Dear Goku

Would you ever go out with Vegeta?

"No way he stinks!" Goku laughed.

"I DO NOT STINK! If anybody stinks around here it's that Namek!" shouted Vegeta.

"Hey! I do not stink!" Piccolo shouted back.

"Yes you do! Just like Mystic Gohan and Dorky!" Vegeta added with a smirk.

"Now that's just low, Vegeta. Comparing Piccolo to Gohan and Krillin? Now that's evil." Goku shook his head.

"HEY!" Krillin glared at Vegeta.

"Question #3" read of Hannah.

Dear Future Trunks

Would you ever kiss Gohan?

"No way! I like him but I'd never kiss him!" Trunks said blushing.

"Oh so you like him…" Hannah giggled.

"Yes…no…I mean…I like him as a friend…not as a boyfriend…uh…I mean…I'm confused…" Trunks said.

"Trunks isn't gay and Gohan is his friend. End of story next." Misty rolled her eyes.

"But my son is…" said King Vegeta who had just arrived with his wife, Arella.

"Father…wha- wha- wha- what are you doing here." stuttered Vegeta, surprised at the presence of his mother and father.

"Wh-wh-wh-why are you stuttering?" mimicked King Vegeta.

Everybody (except Vegeta) made LOL face. "Ooooooooooooooh…uber pwnage!"

"Father, that was mean." Vegeta pouted.

"Yeah… in the bed!" joked King Vegeta.

Everybody (except Vegeta) laughed."Oooooooooooooooh! Uber pwnage!"

"I'm actually glad I did this." Misty giggled.

"Yeah…LAST NIGHT!" King Vegeta pwned once more.

Everybody (except Vegeta and Misty) burst out laughing once again. "Oooooooooooooooh! Uber pwnage!"

Misty made a poker face. "If anybody laughs at the old man, I'll inject everybody here with mysticness."

King Vegeta couldn't help say. "I'll inject you with my dick!

Everybody made poker face but are laughing on the inside.

"HAHAHAHA!" Gohan burst out laughing. "I don't get it."

"Damn… he's already mystic. Fuck it… Okay now for question number…" she had begun to read the paper, when Vegeta spoke.

"Hey wait a minute! You said you were gonna punish who ever laughed!"

"Well actually she said she would inject who ever laughed with mysticness, but since Gohan is already mystic, she can't!" pointed out King Kai, being the fat ass cat fish looking smart ass he is.

"Who invited the fish?" Misty asked forgetting that Hannah liked catfish.

"Well actually I'm not a fi-"

Vegeta slammed a pile of plates over Gohan's head.

"Vegeta! You asshole! What did you that for?" shouted Bulma at her husband while he rolled his eyes.

"If she wasn't gonna punish him, I am!" Vegeta shouted back.

"Keep those crusty shit filled hands off my son!" shouted Chichi at Vegeta for the first time ever.

"You wanna go bitch?" threatened Vegeta standing up like a boss.

"Hell yeah I wanna go! Kaio ken!" Chichi stood up and Kaio kened and threw a plate at Vegeta.

"Bring it bitch!" Vegeta turned super saiyan and started throwing plates.

"Goku stop them!" Bulma said again depending Goku, like always.

"Hell no! This is funnier than the time when Krillin choked on a rock!" Goku started to eat the pizza the delivery man had just brought.

"That was a dare and you know it! Besides, I could have died and you guys know it!" Krillin sighed angry, but since he couldn't beat up Goku, he hadn't even tried to slap him.

Vegeta and Chichi continued to throw plates at each other while everybody ate ice cream and pizza.

"Where the hell are they getting all of these plates from?" questioned Misty.

"Why the hell are you so worried about where the plates came from?" asked Trunks with his mouth full.

"WHY ARE YOU SO UGLY? WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU LOOK LIKE FUTURE TRUNKS!" growled Misty at Trunks.

"You're a mean lady!" Goten whined like a baby.

"I'M NOT A LADY!" Misty snapped.

"Then you're a man?" King Vegeta joked.

"I'm a girl." Misty said confused.

"Then you're a shemale." Said Piccolo.

"This explains why she likes Yaoi and Yuri. WHO LIKES BOTH?" pointed out Hannah.

"Both of you can go be shitty somewhere else!" Misty threw a plate at them.

Misty locked Piccolo and Hannah in one room and maked them watch 2 girls 1 cup between each episode of One Piece over and over again. All you could hear was their screams in the background.

"Vegeta! Chichi! Stop your stupid fighting right now or I'll kaio ken both your asses!" Misty turned back to the two idiots fighting.

"This is between us not you!" Vegeta yelled back.

'Why the hell are they using up all this energy to attack each other with damn plates?' Misty turned to King Vegeta. "Can't you control your son? She then turned towards Goku. "CONTROL YOUR WIFE THE SON OF BARDOCK AND THE STUPIDER AND NOT AS SEXY LITTLE BROTHER OF RADITZ!"

King Vegeta smirked. "No."

"Are you kidding me? She'll beat me with her witch frying pan! And I am SO much sexier than Raditz!" Goku continued to eat his food.

Raditz made a bitch please face. "Bitch please. I'm Raditz. The gynecologist, bitch!"

"KING VEGETA, YOU WEAK ASS FAG!" Misty left the room, cheesed off.

"King Vegeta is not a midget fucker!" King Vegeta shouted back, which was stupid of him to do beacause Misty said nothing about him being a midget fucker, which made Arella look at her husband all funny like."

Misty kaio kened and hit Vegeta with a frying pan and then slammed him into the table, breaking it into billions of pieces, ignoring Chichi.

"Why didn't you get Goten's mom too?" Trunks asked, because he hated Chichi almost as much as Chichi.

"Cuz Chichi rocks!" Misty pumped her fist in the air.

"HAHA! Vegeta's knocked out!" Goku giggled. Before he could eat his vanilla ice cream, he noticed something in it. "Wait… MY ICE CREAM! IT HAS WOOD AND METAL IN IT!"

"I don't know how, BUT THIS IS SOMEHOW MYSTIC GOHAN'S FAULT!" Krillin pointed at Gohan who was eating his pizza innocently.

"Well that's all for now folks! Sorry we didn't finish asking all of the questions! Hopefully we'll get back to the question next time. And yes that Namek Celine Dion fucker and Hannah Montana the second are still in the locked up room. Tune in next time!" Misty waved at the camera and smiled. "Now smile everybody."

"HOW CAN I SMILE WHEN YOU SMASHED MY FACE INTO THE TABLE?" yelled Vegeta.

"Fuck Vegeta." Misty gave the camera a thumbs up sign. "Fuck you."

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Today I fixed it out of chat form and added a little more. Thanks for reading! And please review!


	2. Chapter 2

"Welcome back to the ARDBZ interview. This is your hostess Misty. Hannah is not here right, so leave a message at the beep. Beeeeep!" Misty said making a bad joke, making the crowd boo like crazy. "Shut up, all of you. Anyway, seriously, Hannah is not here and neither is Piccolo. They are both in therapy, so now I have nobody to laugh at my jokes."

"Not that anybody would." pointed out King Vegeta.

"Shut it! At least 3 people laughed insanely at home…" Misty said proudly.

"Yes and they're all insane as you, but not quite." Everybody nodded in agreement.

"I wonder why I didn't do the Charlie Brown interview instead." Misty sighed and opened a letter.

Dear Lunch,

I can't help but notice that nobody interviews you. EVER. (Here everybody laughs) But I've seen Dragon ball and noticed you don't really have that many appearances. So my question for you is how does it make you feel that nobody wants you anymore?

"Well that was mean." Lunch said sadly (this is nice Lunch).

"Who's Lunch?" Master Roshi said absentmindedly.

"Who's Master Roshi?" Misty glared at Master Roshi. "Is that the LONG FORGOTTEN UGLY OLD MAN THE WORLD HAS FORGOTTEN AND WHO IS NO LONGER THE STRONGEST?"

Everybody laughed at the truth. "LOL! Roshi got burned."

"Well to answer the question, I feel very upset people have forgotten me and don't need me anymore. But, hey, at least I have some people to relate to."

"Who can you relate to Lunch?" Misty asked curiously.

"Krillin, Roshi, Oolong, Puar, Yamcha in a way, Chichi, and Bulma." Lunch said cheerfully.

"What? I am totally useful!" Bulma pointed out.

"Well actually Bulma, the only way you've been useful was when you had Trunks and when you were helping with finding the dragon balls. Otherwise, you aren't very useful, especially since after the Buu saga." Misty said agreeing with Lunch.

"They have you there Bulma." said Goku.

"Yes, even I know that I'm not that useful in battle." Chichi said not bitching for once.

"Next question #2." Misty pulled out the next one.

Dear Krillin

I just realized you probably only slept with 18 once. You horny bastard.

Everybody laughed at Krillin while 18 just sat there with a very excellent poker face that even Piccolo and Vegeta even couldn't pull off and Krillin just sunk under the table, blushing like crazy.

"LOL! Next question."

Dear Future Trunks

I read somewhere that you are really Yamcha's son, but the only reason that he has saiyan powers is because Vegeta's sperm mixed with Yamcha's. Is this true?

"Where'd they get that lie from?" said Bulma.

"I hate when people read all lies and believe them." Misty sighed.

"YOU MEAN YAMCHA'S MY DAD!" Trunks said having a panic attack.

"I HAVE A SON?" Yamcha said having a panic attack, cause he was SURE Vegeta was going to murder him.

"To answer your question, NO. Yamcha is not Trunks' father and Vegeta is. They got it off of the uncyclopedia, which is filled with lies. I don't know if it's still on there, though." Misty opened the next letter.

Dear Bulma,

Why is your butt so fat?

"MY BUTT IS NOT FAT!" Bulma blushed.

"Yes it is." said Vegeta smirking.

"NO IT ISN'T AND WHO ASKED YOU?" Bulma snapped at her husband.

"Well it is."

Dear Mr. Popo

What is the pecking order?

"Well Mr. Popo couldn't be here so Mr. Popo asked just me tell you." Misty pulled out a chart and pointed with a pointer thingy. "It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, and Popo."

"Well none of that makes any sense." said Bulma.

"Mr. Popo asked me to do this too." Misty knocked Krillin 7 stories down through the studio. "Enjoy the climb back up bitch!"

Dear Videl

Your dad stinks, so you stink! I hope you and your dad burn in the darkest part of hell!

"HEY! WELL AT LEAST MY DAD'S CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!" bitched Videl.

"Unofficial champion of the idiot world." Misty rolled her eyes.

Dear Perfect Cell

You are the cutest character on the show and I think Goku would be lucky to marry you. Chichi such a bitch and you should have killed her and Gohan when you had the chance.

"Why thank you!" Cell said modestly.

"I AM NOT A BITCH!" bitched Chichi. "And my Goku is not marrying Cell! Or hurting my son!"

Everybody was like, "Yeah right."

"One last question…"

Dear Misty (Misty: YAY!)

Why is Vegeta the main character if he get less action time than Goku?

"That's easy…Vegeta is funnier than Goku but will never be as good as Goku as the same time." answered Misty.

"HAHAHA!" Vegeta laughed. Ten seconds later… "Wait…what?"

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Notice I used references to Teamfourstar's Mr. Popo because I loved that genie.


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